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Continued from last month; if you want to read that first, click here

There were lights on everywhere at the Grange Children’s Home, and some of the windows were open. As we got out of the car I could hear a lot of noise. There seemed to be different music or TV programmes on in several places. There was also the noise of a big row, or a fight going on, just inside the front door.

Remembering what Mrs Mason had said to me about going somewhere where they would knock the temper out of me, I thought somebody very bad must be being done by the staff. In fact two big girls seemed to be attacking two staff, who looked scared to death.

It calmed down a bit when one of the girls recognised the escort who had come with me. It seems that they knew each other from somewhere and got chatting about other kids. For a lot of them it sounded as if they had disappeared or got locked up. One or two of the girls they talked about had babies who had been taken into care. I wondered where ‘care’ was.

One of the scared staff took me upstairs to show me my bed. It was in the corner of a room with three other beds. All the way she kept talking, telling me the rules and the sanctions for breaking them. I didn’t know what a sanction was then, but I soon did.

The wardrobe and drawers she said were mine were already full, so I left my stuff in the plastic bag by the bed. She said it was bedtime, but nobody else seemed to getting ready. I got into bed and pulled the covers over my head. I heard some others coming in to the room.

One of them came over and poked about in my bag. It seems my stuff was too small, but they did discuss selling some of it. I jumped out of bed and smacked one of them, just as scared staff number two walked through the door. We all got a telling off, but I earned myself some points with the others for not grassing. A lot later I found out I had earned myself a bit more towards a reputation for violent behaviour.

When everybody else seemed to be asleep I crept downstairs to see if I could find something to eat. Nobody had asked me if I was hungry when I got to the Grange. Too busy and too scared, I expect. I found the kitchen and there was a fat jolly woman in there. She told me she was the waking night staff. She made me some toast and a hot drink and we sat at the table and chatted for a bit. She was the first nice person I had met since Mum, Gran and I all got sent away, apart from little Bobby that is. But I talked to her and she had time to listen. She said she’d mention that I hadn’t seen or heard from my Mum for weeks. She told me a bit about the place as well. It didn’t sound like much.

In the morning a few fights broke out, some just verbals, and threatening, but some pushing, shoving, while people had breakfast and got ready for school, although only two or three actually put on uniforms and went out. One or two went back to bed. Some settled down to watch TV. The staff went in to the office, where one started phone calls and the other was doing some writing. One came out after a bit to tell me the officer in charge was coming in and would want to talk to me.

When he came, he talked about holding meetings and case conferences and making plans for the future. I asked about Mum. He didn’t seem to know where she was. He didn’t say he would help me to find out either.

I thought about running away, but I still didn’t know where I was and I did know it was dangerous to wander about in London on my own.

Somebody started to make some sandwiches for lunch, but just as I started eating mine a staff told me to go into this room for a meeting. There were about six people there. Some of them were staff from the Grange. Some of them seemed to be posh and important. The staff were flapping around them like they were royalty or something.

When the meeting started they all said their names, but I was too scared to hear properly. One of them smiled with her teeth and kept calling me Dawn. I wondered if I was in the wrong place, so I tried telling her I was Donna. The others didn’t like that and the staff told me to shush and to listen. Was I supposed to tell Dawn all about it when I met her ?

One of them started on about uncontrollable outbursts of temper and violent behaviour. When I heard the name Mrs Mason I knew I was in the right place alright. But you would not believe what that old bat had said about me, behind my back. To my face she had mostly been all smiles and sometimes paraded me to her friends. ‘Look at this poor little thing we are looking after’ stuff. She forgot to mention that the poor little thing was on the fetch and carry for her all day long. She had remembered to tell somebody all about how difficult I had been and how she feared for her baby’s safety.

I felt the anger coming on and I jumped up and shouted, “I’m not listening to this. It’s a pack of lies”. My knee caught the coffee table which fell over, hitting the woman with the teeth on the leg and spilling coffee, milk, sugar, cups and papers all over the nice carpet. I heard one of the staff say, “Oh, the new carpet”, before I legged it. But then I was stuck. No coat, no money, not even sure where the front door was.

To be continued next month….