Kelly
claimed that her life was an accident, and from an early age she struggled
to believe that she was accepted and loved, even though she came from
a settled home with caring parents.
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At
school life was hard. She was often bullied and she underachieved,
as she grew she yearned to be accepted and learnt that if she
was free with her favours to the boys, they at least, seemed to
offer her some temporary protection from the bullies who plagued
her life, but she gained a reputation as an easy lay and encountered
further abuse. |
She left
school at fifteen without a single qualification, started to drift
around from one temporary job to another, and in a desperate attempt
to make something of her life moved to the East Coast to a holiday
centre to try and find work in entertainment as she enjoyed singing,
but unscrupulous men preying on her vulnerability took advantage of
her, she returned to her parents home deflated and depressed.
She was
now eighteen and at this point her life took a turn for the worse.
She was raped by a 48-year-old man who she was helping at Karaoke
evenings.
There
had been several incidents, and at first she was frightened for her
own safety. When she did turn for help nobody believed her because
of her reputation, and his fervent denials. Her life now spiralled
downwards, her already burgeoning eating disorder developed quickly,
rapidly losing weight and self harming, she disengaged from her family
and she left the area becoming homeless. Finally she made a serious
attempt to end her life. It was at this point she was committed to
a rehabilitation unit and the slow and tortuous road to some form
of recovery began.
She received
medical attention, counselling and treatment, eventually returning
to the area she had fled and was re-housed by a Christian action housing
trust. She now has regular daily support as an outpatient to a local
unit specialising in the treatment of eating disorders and depression,
she also receives support via a housing worker. It is intensive work
for all those connected to her, striving to resettle Kelly back into
independent living and working to restore her self-esteem and confidence,
repairing broken family ties.
Alcoholics,
drug users, self-harmers, seem intent on damaging themselves knowing
full well the consequences of their behaviour and the affect it has
on those around them, nothing seems to arrest their actions, imminent
death is not a deterrent when life holds nothing but dread.
Kelly’s
life is slowly on the mend, but she is permanently scarred, physically
and emotionally. She needs a lot of attention and support, its demanding
work, but at least she is getting it. How many other Kelly’s
are there, vulnerable, abused, a statistic waiting to be recorded,
slipping through the net, into self induced oblivion.
How can
we communicate a message of hope and confidence, which will penetrate
into their world of despair and fear? How can we, in our role as youth
workers, be involved in enabling young people to see themselves differently,
to maybe get in touch with a more positive and loving image of themselves?
What are the skills and processes that we should be developing to
help people like Kelly?
Peter
Hope
(Frontier Youth Trust Networker in the East)
