In
the book, A Place for Us, I told the story of Mill Grove through
the experiences of those who had lived here as children or adults.
One of the subsequent book reviews, by Chris Hanvey, has always
stayed in my mind. I forget which journal he was writing for, and
the main thrust of his comments. But I remember one of his observations:
he still didn’t understand what actually went on at Mill Grove!
By that I took him to mean that the type of care, the methods of
treatment, the therapy or whatever, were still not apparent after
150 pages or more. Something generally positive was going on, but
it was not clear why, or how, positive outcomes were achieved.
The
book has been out of print in both its editions for several years,
and I am engaged with Bob Holman in writing another. Hopefully that
will help to answer, 
in
so far as it possible to do so, Chris Hanvey’s question. In
the meantime, here is a little cameo from Saturday 24th January
2004. A little girl aged 7, whom we shall call Philippa, arrived
mid-morning with her father and uncle and spent the rest of the
day with us. It was a crisp, clear day, and the winter sun lit up
the lounge in which she made her base. She had brought several of
her cuddly toy friends with her, including Piglet and Eyesore. Before
long she had cooked them all a meal of beefburgers, chips and peas,
on her toy stove, and served them exactly equal portions, neatly
on plates. She gently and systematically helped each one to eat
their meal.
Others
in the Mill Grove family were around, adults and young people, and
they interacted with Philippa naturally and sensitively, taking
an interest in what she was doing, getting on with their own agendas,
and engaging in conversation from time to time. Philippa joined
us for lunch enjoying her sausages and waffles. In the afternoon
she continued with her self-appointed tasks, and occasionally went
outside to be close to her father and uncle, and to explore the
familiar garden with its swings and climbing frame, grass and trees.
She was relaxed and content all through the day, aware of and interested
in what others were doing and yet always happy with her own thoughts
and activities. She found plenty to occupy her in a setting that
was both safe and creative. All the play facilities were there for
her to use: she simply came with her toy friends and enjoyed using
them.
You
might say that all this is mildly interesting, but that it doesn’t
help to answer the original question. This is a merely a description
of activities that gives no indication of how it might have been
anything more than a pleasant way of spending a day. There doesn’t
seem to be anything particularly noteworthy, therapeutic or caring
going on. Understood, so let’s go outside and fill in a bit
of the history and context. Philippa’s mother and uncle used
to live at Mill Grove as children. The reason her uncle and father
were here was to help in cutting down and pruning several of the
many trees all around our home. Tree surgery was her uncle’s
hobby: his work was long distance lorry driving. When Philippa went
outside she was among other things just making sure she knew where
her father was and what he was doing.
Does
that help at all? If not, then one or two of the labels used by
other professionals may be of use. Philippa has been identified
as showing many of the symptoms on the “Autistic spectrum”,
notably those associated with Asperger’s Syndrome. She is
at a special school, and her interactions with young and old, on
this Saturday, including some genuinely coherent conversations with
young and old, were a revelation. The way she sat with us at lunch
and ate her food was especially encouraging to her father. The children
and young people at Mill Grove knew she was in some ways unusual,
and made allowances, but were quite relaxed about how to engage
with her and to leave her the space to do her own thing. Her uncle
had also been diagnosed as “autistic” when he was a
child. He found school and formal education a dead loss, completely
boring and uninteresting, but since he has found scope for his considerable
intellect in learning languages, studying English literature especially
the works of Shakespeare and Dickens, and travelling around England
studying historical sites and monuments. He is delighted to find
scope for his tree-lopping hobby, and is pleasantly surprised that
his encyclopaedic knowledge is appreciated and tapped.
Both
Philippa’s mother and uncle have known my own parents and
myself for over forty years. My father and mother were their guardians
when their own father died and my father was asked to take the funeral
service. Many years later I was asked to take the funeral of the
mother: she had come from the continent and suffered from an acute
and chronic psychiatric disorder. So on Saturday several things
were happening and coming together. Philippa and her uncle were
in a setting that respected them, and helped to draw out their potential.
Mill Grove
has been around for over a century, and there are no plans to move.
Ruth and I will be here for the rest of our lives, always “there”
for this special family. And the other youngsters are learning not
only that we are there for them, but that they have understanding
and gifts that can be used in the process by which Philippa develops
the confidence, social skills and relationships that will help her
to realise her full potential.
It
was a productive day in that a whole tree was completely pruned,
and it was also a pleasant and relaxed time. But who can tell how
significant it will have been in the long term, and how to describe
the personal chemistry that made it what it was? And will I be able
to convey any of this in the current book? I hope this gives you
enough of the flavour of life here for you to realise that it isn’t
easy to put all this into words, not least because I’m not
sure anyone knows everything that is going on, or how and why it
works.
Keith J. White lives and cares for children and young people
in Mill Grove where his family has lived for four generations.
Since 1899 it has been a family home where children unable
to live with their own parents have been welcomed
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