This is an extremely valuable book that gives a step-by-step guide to devastated and isolated parents of young people (10 to 18 years of age) who have sexually abused. The structure of the book unfolds the stages which parents need to address as they face the future following their child's sexually abusive behaviour. The chapters contain useful summaries, pertinent questions and very helpful exercises: -

Chapter 1. Understanding the Issues. (29 pages)
.. 2. Finding Out. (16 Pages)
.. 3. Why has this Happened? (11 pages)
.. 4. Meeting your own Needs. (10 pages)
.. 5. Making Changes and Protecting Others in your Family. (41 pages)
.. 6. Supporting the Child who has Sexually Abused. (22 pages)
.. 7. The Future. (5 pages)

Parents are introduced to key concepts (Chapter 1) such as the differences between "sexually abusive behaviour" and "sexually inappropriate behaviour"; "consent" and "power". Hackett discusses "normal" and "abnormal" sexual behaviour in pre-adolescents, adolescents and those who have learning disabilities. With sensitivity and respect he considers the damage done to the victims and focuses on the personal responsibility of the abuser to face the consequences of his actions - with parental support.

The wider social context of teenage life is not ignored. The results of surveys are cited: 50% of adolescents (aged 14-18) are sexually experienced or active; the most common age for young people to have full sex is now 17; family environment strongly affects young people's attitudes towards teenage sexual activity. Under "older adolescents" he suggests, "The most important thing parents can do at this stage is to help your child make the right kind of choices, with an emphasis on safety."

Important as sex education is, as a parent, I cannot help thinking that this is advice on technical sex, self-centred sex, cheap sex, or possibly what Giddens called plastic sex. Readers with religious convictions will be saddened at the tragic absence of sound advice about value concepts such as: chastity, purity, respect, integrity, self-control, covenant, love etc..

What happens when parents discover the abuse (Chapter 2) and they encounter the formidable weight of the authorities? Hackett thoughtfully examines feelings of "shock, anger, denial, confusion, guilt, isolation and helplessness". He gives sure-footed steps for approaching the situation: seeking an accurate picture, sorting out issues of responsibility and blame, and dealing with denial. The taxing and complex issue of sibling sexual abuse is specially mentioned. Readers should ponder this sentence and weep: "In over ten years of working with children and young people who have sexually abused, I do not think I have ever met a young person who has been able to be honest about all of what he had done at the time the abuse was discovered."

The next two chapters are excellent. He warns parents (Chapter 3) not to be over-simplistic in reaching quick conclusions and having short-term expectations. With care and insight he leads them along a possible pathway into understanding some of the internal and external experiences that may have been significant in developing their child's cycle of sexual abusive behaviour. He looks at parental concerns (Chapter 4) about trust and forgiveness, depression and flashbacks. His aims throughout are to offer practical guidance and sensitive advice for dealing with both personal and inter-relational stress.

Key themes of family change and protection are fully examined (Chapter 5) in a creative and positive way. One section reviews various parenting styles to improve quality relationships, develop self-esteem, encourage good communication, and apply wise (non-physical) discipline and to set family boundaries. Another very important section develops the theme, New Ways of Dealing with Risk Situations within the family and the community. Useful and helpful exercise sheets accompany each section.

How can parents best work with professionals and the legal system? The Child Protection and legal systems are outlined (Chapter 6) including different Orders, Acts, Registers and Teams. The term treatment work is described and ideas underpinning the "cognitive behavioural" approach discussed. Throughout the chapter the parent's valued contribution to the child finding a healthy sexuality is emphasised.

The chapter finishes with the section, What is sexual orientation? He says, "Most researchers today agree that sexual orientation…is set biologically…Homosexuality, heterosexuality and bisexuality are all acceptable forms of sexual orientation, as long as they are expressed in a non-abusive way." I strongly disagree with this conclusion. We should apply the same caveat emptor to researchers, scientists and their chameleon theories that he applies to his own profession when, in this chapter, he says, "Professionals come in all shapes and sizes!"

Hackett offers future hope (Chapter 7) for parents, family and children. He also considers factors for the appropriate time to reunite a family. Advice is given about the challenges of ending formal professional involvement and he suggests additional sources of help for future testing situations.

Simon Hackett has opened to us his valuable experiences and has combined practical knowledge with academic perspective in such a clearly helpful way. He feels a deep sense of privilege working alongside young people and families who have struggled with these traumatic events and issues: "I have learnt many lessons about myself on the way". Freudians, social psychologists, and other theorists will probably want to further debate certain assumptions and methodologies. However, wisdom suggests that in any given analysis theories should be viewed as complementary and not viewed necessarily as mutually exclusive. His book gives hope in pain, strength in vulnerability, support in extreme need, and clear thinking in a time of consternation. Overall it is a very useful resource book for a wide variety of professions and vocations: psychologists, social workers, educators, church and youth leaders, and carers.

David Morgan BSc (Hons) Psychology