If
you have been reading this column at all regularly, you will realise
that I have been trying to explain or describe what Mill Grove is
all about: what happens and what life is like. In May each year
we have a big reunion of family and friends called “Our Day”.
So the 2004 event has just taken place. It was a big gathering and
significant gathering by any standards, resembling the sort of crowd
you might expect at an Indian wedding, for example.
There
was a thanksgiving service in a large local church followed by a
fine early summer evening of continuous refreshments, chatter, games,
audio-visuals, a barbecue, a tree-house and a chance to look again
at the thousands of photos of times past and recent (from 1899 to
the present day).
Someone
came from Latvia on that day to see how Mill Grove functioned, and
I think it may have been rather overwhelming with hundreds of the
extended family and friends of three or more generations all knowing
each other, and many coming home. I hope she was able to learn something
as she seeks to develop her own children’s residential community.
But
I would like to tell you about a mustard seed. The theme of the
day was “Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven” and so there
were lots of stories and some dramas on this topic. One tale was
of a merchant who eventually found the pearl of great price and
who was willing to sell everything that he possessed in order to
be able to by it. Another story was about labourers in a vineyard
who were all paid the same amount irrespective of what they had
earned: in fact those who had worked least were paid first!
But
the whole event started with a boy, who I will call Leo, who knelt
down by a large flowerpot, and carefully planted a seed in the earth.
It isn’t a dramatic story, and there were no sound effects:
just Leo, the seed and the earth. If this is about the Kingdom of
Heaven then there can be little doubt that such a kingdom has little
in common with the kingdoms and empires of world history!
We
couldn’t have chosen a better planter of the seed than Leo.
He is absorbed by the natural world, especially little grubs, caterpillars,
and seeds. I’ve collected him from school and walked beside
the very pitch where David Beckham played as a youngster, assuming
that Leo would help me imagine the scene, only to find him inspecting
the underside of an oak leaf looking for grubs. On another occasion
we were playing a five-a-side game of football and Leo went to fetch
the ball after it had been kicked off. He found it in a garden bed,
and for about a quarter of an hour he forgot all about the game
while he studied and tried to feed a wood louse!
The
special day I have been describing wore on, and at the end we had
arranged for a little Italian apple tree (“Melo Nano”
is the species if you really want to know) in an identical flowerpot
to replace the pot containing the newly planted seed. There was
an impressive reaction from those who had gathered when what looked
like dramatic growth had taken place within the pace of about two
hours. (The apples weren’t large but there could be no doubting
the fact that there were some.) But Leo was, of course, more interested
in his seed. To date it hasn’t shown much sign of growth but
we live in hope.
The
next day Leo and I were exploring the habits of two caterpillars,
and providing them with a variety of leaves in a jar, including
stinging nettles that I taught Leo to handle carefully so that they
didn’t sting. This led us to study the undersides of a whole
variety of other leaves including rowan and elderflower. When it
was time for tea we had fresh peaches to eat and it wasn’t
long before Leo was wondering what the inside of the stones looked
like. We cracked one open and found two seeds that he immediately
planted.
Today
we were observing the habits of two magpies, two song thrushes and
two wagtails just outside the window as we were having tea. Then
we had a careful look at the apples on the Melo Nano (Grandpa Apple)
tree.
It’s
just possible you are wondering what on earth all this has to do
with what happens at Mill Grove. It may help you to understand a
little better one of the children whom we help (I have, of course,
not told you of his family background); what sort of things we do
together; how important individuals are; the significance of the
natural world; our belief that education and learning probably take
place more readily out of formal schooling than in it; and a little
about the environment in which we live.
Some
have wondered whether we have therapy or behaviour modification
programmes at Mill Grove. The answer is that we rarely do. The reason
is that we rate more highly the therapy of the seasons and the rhythms
of everyday life. In its own time everything has its place, whether
laughter or tears, dancing or mourning, birth or death.
And
the meaning of the mustard seed? Well it means a great deal to me.
Jesus told the story about a mustard seed and how it grew to provide
shelter for birds. A lovely picture of the Kingdom of Heaven: something
that grows quietly and unobtrusively and in time reverses the roles
of carer and cared for.
The
first book that I wrote about Mill Grove was called A Place for
Us, and the first chapter was called “A Mustard Seed”.
So when Leo planted the seed it was an action full of meaning way
beyond what he could imagine. And that’s a lovely thought
with which to end: what if we are largely unaware of the significance
and long-term effects of what we do? What if healing comes in its
own way and time, and our responsibility is to provide the space
in which it can happen? I sense that Leo is gradually developing
a sense of his own worth, and possibly even his own identity, but
it’s early days yet. As with the mustard seed, only time will
tell.
Keith J. White lives and cares for children and young people
in Mill Grove where his family has lived for four generations.
Since 1899 it has been a family home where children unable
to live with their own parents have been welcomed
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