I had been a schools youth worker and counsellor for two years when
I first met Laura, a pretty, head -strong, streetwise, thirteen-year
old. She came on the pretext of helping a 'friend' who thought she might
be pregnant. I gave contact numbers but said that I would be available
for support if it was needed. She came back, but this time she was more
honest. It was her that needed help.
This
was where our relationship began. I mediated for her, with family, school
and the medical services and became a sounding board for all her fears
and concerns. I was amazed at her ability to survive the massive changes
that came her way. I was proud of her, charmed by her and I wanted nothing
but the best for her. I also believed in her. Her little girl was born,
and it was then she shared her greatest fear, "What if history
should repeat itself?" as both her Grandma and Mum had had babies
in their teens.
I
continued working with Laura and supporting her through all the twists
and turns of her life. I was continually reminded throughout that working
with young people cannot be done without a profound sense of hope, particularly
when you find yourself exposed to the often raw but real situations
and emotions experienced by them. The tension rests not only in accompanying
them on their life's journey, but how to reflect and communicate a sense
of hope, into what for some would appear hopeless situations resulting
in an incredible loss of potential, thus leading to limited personal
development and a reduction in the corporate and personal contribution
to life, the consequence being, that we all lose out.
It
was not that Laura did not wish to change her life's course, but, that
she felt incapable of turning back. It was irredeemable, so why bother
to change? As far as she was concerned the future was bleak and remained
uncertain because it would always be affected by her past. She would
say there was no hope! It would never get better - resulting in a never-ending
cycle of defeat and hopelessness. Laura was locked into this belief
system. My hope however, rested in challenging this thinking and wrong
order of the day and presenting an alternative approach and route for
her. I hoped that once an alternative was presented, one based on life-changing
truths, she would embrace it, thus changing her beliefs, attitudes and
values. She might then have concomitantly changed her emotional and
behavioural actions.
Sadly
for Laura, this was not to be, as she found herself pregnant again,
in distress again, needing support again. Does this cause me pain? Yes.
Am I disappointed? Yes, but fortunately for me my hope rests in something
more. I can continue to speak a prophetic message of hope into her life,
using my faith, experiences, education and work settings, so that hope
is woven throughout the very fabric of society.
A
theology of 'hope' does exist for young people and it is possible to
translate it and make connections for young people, whatever role we
find ourselves in, allowing our actions to speak louder than the unspoken
word. I will not abandon Laura for her hope is not yet recovered. Working
with her, though, does come with a price. That's the sting in the tail,
to continue on even when in pain.
